Chronicles of Nadia

Ordot Dump has been on its death bed for atleast 30 years yet almost every piece of garbage I have generated in my lifetime is currently at the Ordor Dump. Our ignorance and lack of management has caused a trash crisis on Guam. Had that place been properly managed it would have been closed before I was ever born and we are desperately hanging onto it until we have another option. In a long overdue attempt to extend the life of the dump, the Department of Public Works has mandated that corrugated cardboard will no longer be accepted since eliminating it will decrease the volume of trash entering the dump and corrugated cardboard can be recycled. I believe other items such as aluminum cans and paper should be eliminated as well, but thats another topic completely…

Here’s my gripe, the dumpster at my apartment complex is grossly overflowing since trash collectors have not pick up the garbage in weeks. But as long as morons keep placing cardboard inside the dumpster, the mountain of trash and river of leachate is going to continue to grow. Why are people so stupid? Do those idiots really think that the job of rectifying our trash crisis is above them and everyone elses responsibility? We all need to do our part. In the sceme of things, is recycling really that difficult?

I realized long ago that I am not for everyone and I started to dance to my own beat.  But sometimes, I wonder if there is something wrong with me.  I just found out another one of my friends is pregnant.  I am completely happy for her as I know she has been trying to get pregnant for some time now.  Slowly but surely, my peers are slipping away.  First, there is courtship, then marriage, and ultimately, the next step, babies.  I love to see my friends happy.  I am starting to wonder why those sorts of things are not enticing to me.  I recently move into a new place and as I filled up my closet (which is quite large) I realized something.  If I were to share my life with someone, as in the context of marriage, I would undoubtable have to get rid of many things in that closet.  Though I have out grown a lot of things (in both size and style) I would rather keep each and every one of those items in lieu of making room for someone else’s.  And the idea of working three jobs seems more relaxing than rearing children.  I do not believe I am a selfish person, though it may seem so to many people.  I come off harsh most of time but if anyone could get into this hard head of mine, they would realize just how gentle and compassionate I really am.  I am terrified of being hurt so much that I’d rather be alone and unloved than take a risk.  My experiences have reinforced this principle to me time and time again.  Nothing has ever worked out for me.  Maybe I am meant to have my own closet… 

Just saying what you couldn’t:

I’m not in love, so don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through
And just because I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made
I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because…)

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don’t make a fuss
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us
I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because…)

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that’s lyin’ there
So don’t you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn’t mean that much to me
I’m not in love, no-no
(It’s because…)

Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time

Ooh, you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you’ll wait a long time

I’m not in love, so don’t forget it
It’s just a silly phase I’m going through
And just because I call you up
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think you’ve got it made, ooh

I’m not in love, I’m not in love…

Sometimes taking things out of context is hilarious. All of these things, are things I heard my parents say:

1. I was making shots behind my bar when my dad asked what I was making. “Blowjobs” I told him. “Well, you’re doing it wrong!” he said. I wasn’t layering the kalua.

2. The power went out at the restaurant and the generator didn’t come on. My mom insised I walk around and ask people if they wanted a tossed salad.

3. I was trying to get things organized to build a dining room set with my mom. She took over my job and said “I’ll do this, why doing you start screwing”

4. As I was walking away I heard my mom say to my dad “We don’t have enough room to do it right here” She was talking about the building the dining room set.

5. I was ridiculing my mom for something she did (regarding the dining room set) when she said “Atleast I didn’t screw it in the wrong hole”

In February, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to get a “free” credit report from Experian Direct.  Like many of the other credit reporting services, they ask for a credit card number and will bill you monthly if you do not cancel the service (which really does not make it a “free” credit report at all).  I tried calling their toll free number to cancel but it didn’t work from Guam so I sent a email to their customer service address and corresponded with an agent about canceling the service.  Each month, I was billed and continued the same routine.  After canceling the service several times each month since March (and disputing the charges with my credit card company), I am happy to say that I am not longer a customer of Experians.  I will never use their hypocritical services again!  

Ruby Tuesday’s Bella Turkey Burger recently made Mens Health list of “The 20 Worst Foods in America” with a whopping 1,145 calories and 71 grams of fat. Interestingly, the turkey burger still has signicantly fewer calories and fat grams than their traditional half-pound burger which did not make the list. Why? The reason is simple: The turkey burger has a reputation for being a healthy version of the hamburger. Everyone fully acknowledges that hamburgers are horrible for you so the fact that the turkey burger is deceiving all of us makes it a great candidate for the list. Deception hurts.

Similairly, this same principle is the very reason that my break up with Matt was so hurtful Like the turkey burger, Matt has a reputation for being good, great even. But he treated me horribly when we were together and dumped me in the most horrible, heartly way possible. It would have been better for me to go out with a hot, charming, stud with a bad reputation. That guy would have hurt me just the same, but I would always be kind-of expecting it. Besides the stud (hamburger) would have been much more satifying that the deceptive “nice guy” (turkey burger). It has taken all my effort to not kill the son of a bitch. A year later, I still feel the sting. We work together and he continues to treat me badly. The worst part is my “friend” still thinks he’s great, attends his parties, brings him gifts, and disreguards my hurt feels completely. Though I am friends with her exes, I have had the grace to be discrete about it rather than flaunt it in her face (except my brother, I still totally hang out with him).

We all the type- fair-weathered friends only associate you at their convenience. Mine calls me for two reasons 1. her wonderful boyfriend “mistreated” her, or 2. he is off-island or otherwise tied up. Whatever! I can deal with this but when my dark moments are a source of entertainment and laughter for her, I have to ask myself my I even bother.

After very little consideration, I broke down and sold my condo.  I am pretty stoked as it was always my plan to sell it in two years and I have no complaints about the money that I made.  As I am preparing to move, I am a little ansi since I have no idea where I am moving to!  The uncertainty is so scary but kind of exhilarating.  

As much as it hurts me to say this, my brothers intuition is better than mine. Much, much better. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to respect his opinion when he tells me a people are total douche-bags and I need to forget the notion that I can save a scumbag. Time and time again, my brother has been right on the money with his predictions regard the men that try to court me or the company that I keep. For this reason, I believe my Bro-mometer is calibrated to the T and from this point forward, who I date and hang out with is no longer my choice.

As a woman, I know the feeling all too well. Hormones get out of whack and suddenly you feel like devoring bags of cheetos and chocolate chips cookies and ripping someones head off. I know, I have been there. Infact, I am there every month. I am sorry, but if any woman thinks PMS is a valid excuse for acting like a complete psychopath, well, you deserve to be called a fucking cunt. There are plenty of drugs out there to keep moods at bay. Use them!